I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
