vagina is talking i cant
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
