hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
