The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
