Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
