Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
