I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
