dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
