I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
