Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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