Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
