She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize