so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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