Ambien. No doubt about it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize