drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
