He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
