She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Someone shit on the floor
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We need a shit load of segways right now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
