24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
