I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
