Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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