why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
