Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
