They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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