I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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