Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
