I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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