im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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