Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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