i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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