ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
