dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
