i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
