I got chris browned last night
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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