I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize