shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
