I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
