doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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