is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
