I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
