Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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