Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
