D3 body, D1 cock
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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