Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
