I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
