4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
