So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
