Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
worst night to have a conscience
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
