I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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