just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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