You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Acid is not a monday night drug
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
