im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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