Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
