You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
