i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
two words...techno handjob
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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