I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize