I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
