I bet he comes in French.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
