But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
