But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
