i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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