I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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