Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
