is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
