i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
