so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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